as soon as the lioness rests, i am allowed to visit the little ones. the room i'd already seen. but now everything is different. in the room and in me. now, these are all my own kids. somebody way upped the stakes! and in the room are no less than 9 people, wrestling for 3 lives. in the middle - like a friendly lighthouse - stands prof. dr. skopnik. not a hair on the man twitches, he radiates trust and tranqulity like i have never seen before. and with a little fear of flying i am used to watching flight attendants for signs of nervosity... souvereign, almost fatherly, he supervises his team. few and short commands, checks, hints come from his mouth with calm and firm voice. and as if knowing me for the longest time he does exactly what i need so desperately now: he nods my way: all good, routine, everything running smoothly, relax!




all of a sudden, i function. i jump to make way when somebody needs to get through, i memorize the numbers at which the monitors go on alert, engrave in my brain where which of my children is. the whole room is my family only! the great adventure has started. and i am part of it, hanging on. a functioning part. with a task, a target.

nevertheless, very briefly monty python pops in my head: "they got it all, even a machine that goes 'ping'!"

and after a while i see prof. skopnik in civil clothing, sandals. i think: "if the captain leaves ship, it aint sinking!" my optimism has awakend. it is not sole, yet, but there. we will make it!