...nothing can happen. driving home from the hospital today, the moon was smiling. something like this:



so! everything good!

wikipedia knows - in essence - the following definition: processes associated with the pilgrim's progress - two or three steps forward, then one back - are characterized by forward and backward motions or processes. example are manifold: the mannesmann brothers in germany have developed a way to make seamless tubes that functions like this... they paved the way to cheap bicycles, for instance, by making affordable tubes available in masses.
or pilgrim's progress linkages: they, too, exist. my university professor braune would be proud of me if he knew i remember this! they advance a long way, then go a short way back. needed for whool combing machines, for example...

and why do i tell you all this? because i dont know jack of medicine. especially neonatology. and because reducing something unknown to something wellknown gives security. collin's development, namely, is such pilgrim's progress: he had to be intubated again, unfortunately. the little big fighter was exhausted from fighting, today. he needs some rest, now. needs some assistance breathing, for a little while. after several successful steps forward, we had to take one back today. this is not always easy. i am convinced, the pilgrims - who gave the whole thing its name - viewed this the same way on their long pilgrimages.

luckily, wikipedia says a very important truth in the end: advance is slow this way, but the self-dictated task will be fulfilled and the goal will be reached, in the end!

we will reach our goal, there is not a doubt in my mind! especially with transcontinentally crossed fingers!

what a boring header... sorry, it sounds a lot more serious than need be, but i thought i'd do something totally unexpected... :)

weeeeelllllllllll: then, in the order received: benjamin by now has closed his ductus venosus and also very little other problems. he is - so to speak - doctors' and nurses' darling, for IF he is "calling" them - that means when his machine goes "ping" - it is mostly for being at the upper limit... the nurses call this - proudly or funnily? i think proudly! - "showing off"... :) besides that, he quite sometimes reaches spec oxygen saturation with as little as 22% oxygen in his breathing air. and almost everyone knows that "normal" atmospheric air only contains 21%. so he almost breathes alone. well, soon, anyways! on the scales he shines with 570 grams, almost his birth weight after not even 2 weeks, which would be spec for a "normal born", so not bad at all!

our little victoria is very brave, as well, gains weight in a hurry and at 555 grams is closer to her birth weight than her 2 minutes older soon-to-be bodyguard. also she has almost no noises at all that would point to an open ductus, anymore. unfortunately, she needs a bold 45% oxygen in her air, which is due to - according to the x-rays - some water in her lungs. therefore she will be treated with cortison for a little while, and then it will be OK again. for you, dear congregation, a very welcome opportunity to cross your fingers, yet again. thanx in advance for that!

our big little collin is sort of a conglomerate of his siblings: he is gaining weight allright, needs appeasingly little oxygen, ductus as good as closed... his problem are the ports for his infusions, slipping out; so he needs to be stung more often, a stress factor for everyone involved...

all things considered - especailly the 24 weeks of pregnancy! - our little three-headed dragon is doing extremely well! reacting beautifully to our voices, to physical contact... kangarooing is good for them, time is on our side: each day gets us closer to home-coming-day!

and, dear team, i know you will understand me, but just to once say it: home-coming is leaving you, and this is NOT meant "THIS" way! we continue to be very happy with you and feel excellentestly taken care of! but home is home and of course we want you to help other moms, dads and little dragons like you help us!

all of a sudden bruna said - kangarooing - today: "collin's eyes are open!" - WHAAAAT??? and i got benjamin on my chest and cant bolt over there to catch a glimpse of it! what an unjustice! yellow with envy i watch her with the mirror, not letting her eyes from his... but still i "heated" benjamin for almost 4 hours. and read to him. and listened to music with him. yes, that's what's expected from me as a father...

later i did get to see them, collin's open eyes. very little and narrow and dark... hum, was it blue now, brown, green or grey? not a clue, honestly, i saw only dark, the lighting in that place is just like a kangaroo's pouch: darkish-cosy. but hey, that's the idea, right?

almost at the day's end, i learned what routine is in neonatology: i told the doctor very proudly that collin's eyes are open. says she: "oh, all of them had their eyes open, already!" - well, you need to tell me groundshaking news like that right away, for this stuff _IS_ important!!! :)

our little dragon can see! cool! then he will soon learn how to fly. and breath fire. help! :)

our dragon loves kangaroos, that's for sure! benjamin's feet are ticklish, collin "speaks" with mommie (dr. luecke explicitly allowed commencing language training as soon as the tubes are out! :) ), and victoria hypnotized mama until the kangaroo was snorring through the entire room!

we're having jolly good times, the nurses, too, and the li'l ones the most. medical proof: a) extubated, the lot of them and b) prof. dr. skopnik's words: "they are brave kids!"

we're proud of them. and grateful.

matching the sunshine today, we were granted another very nice experience:

after the bloated rejection note from the swabian luxury car maker with the star (if carl, gottlieb and wilhelm would learn about that!) we have found a much better way to move all our troops including support at the same time from here on out.

and here is how: jens and chrissi, a very nice pair of humans from near berlin and readers / contributors on the V-CLUB FORUM, THE first address on the web for all mercedes van drivers, heard my call for help.

the 6 individual seats in the troop shuttle are not enough: 1 aupair, 2 parents, 3 kids and where is the dog supposed to be? sure, sure, she does not exactly need a seat, but the space of one. solution to the problem: if in the back, instead of the 2 individual armchairs, would be a 3-seater bench, all babies could be back there, while the grownups and dog distribute themselves on the remaining 4 spaces.

so, i posted a quick "emergency" on the forum. and wasnt only heard, but also the saviors will be in the area soon! which makes the seat exchange so much easier!

so, there ARE human beings after all. humane ones. human beings who do NOT invest 8 weeks and 1000s of euros in an excuse why they can not do something that takes a quarter of an hour and costs next to nothing. human beings who stand up and help where needed. and such human beings are also jens and chrissi. and arnsgar and micha. THANK Y'ALL VERY MUCH!

we are mobile. i mean thoroughly mobile! everybody can ride along... boys, girls, old ones, young ones, bipeds, four-legs, black-haired, white-skinned... so: a bench for every-butt-y...

*doing* *doing* *doing*
today we were a kangaroo...
finally! the first real chance to feel at least something LIKE fetus movements pregnant women always do. few daddys have such luck! because "normally large born" offspring just doesnt make THIS kind of fragile and soft scratching moves. for it DOES make a difference whether one has some mighty 7 pound on the chest and THINKS "wow, how fragile!" or guards one single, probably only almost, pound and KNOWS "wow, fragile!"... it shrubbles and shnabbers on the wrong - out - side of the skin, sure, but this is as close as it gets for the never-really-pregnant gender... unique, hands down!

i've had victoria, my little princess, bruna had our "big" benjamin. the "biggest" collin must wait until tomorrow. not enough room on daddy and mommie, too much stress, not stable enough, yet. but hey! what is one day against the rest of life? christmas and birthday must be waited for every year! soon he will be up...

in the meantime here is some evidence, just how beautiful family really can be.





thank you, team, for the constant support and supervision of this little happiness of infathomable dimension. and thanx anna, for the ears. only with you i was a real kangaroo! *doing* *doing* *doing*

incredible! JUST when i extended our thanks to heroes in three colors - green, blue and white - one of them speaks with me wearing all red!

but self-evidently noone should be left out here - ESPECIALLY here. therefore, before somebody will speak with us tomorrow in yellow or purple: not the slightest bit of our perception of the team regarding care, interaction, professionality, expertise, cordiality, optimism - or in a nutshell: humanity - has changed!

gladly we extend our thanks to all the colors of the rainbow: THANK YOU VERY MUCH for doing what you do and how you do it! i will just store it in the TWO foremost braincells: one for the fact as such and one more for the color! :)

and: we were called "pleasant parents". now, THAT is what i call a success for us! precisely that is what we want to be: united we will make it! better.

we interrupt the running program for an important note from mother dragon:

"to the families and all our friends: i am home from the hospital, despite the emergency surgery and last week´s stress, i am allright. thanks go to chiara, for helping mick translating into italian.
new photos and blog entries coming soon.
the babies are stable, and at the moment everything seems to be normal; we enjoy every little moment in which we can see them, hover our hands over their little body, or just observe their sleeping.
the biggest thanks go to all nurses, doctors, midwives, for the lovely tender care towards me and the babies, care that doesnt just end here, but will go on for months, until the kids are ready to come home with us.

THANKS THANKS THANKS!!
from mom´s heart, ...now i can tell! :-)

bruna"

well, nothing to add to this, right? :)

no, of course not bounce around. no boxing either. nor soccer.

tomorrow is kangarooing. that is something very calm, un-sporty, very careful, sensitive. good for the kids and good for our souls. it's the latest and greatest from south america.

well, i do feel a bit frightened, as little and fragil as the kiddos are. but i was promised firmly that nothing can nor will happen and that i - once having experienced it - will never want to do anything else... :)

so, i'll tell you tomorrow what it was like, ok?